Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
