pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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