i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
