Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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