Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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