He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
