yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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