she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
