You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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