i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
