What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize