he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize