its not stalking. its research.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
