he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
