Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
