What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
