It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize