just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
