no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
