dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
