it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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