Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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