I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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