Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize