Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
