this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
