people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
