I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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