Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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