I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
