I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
