I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
her vagine was all disorganized.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
