I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
