All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
