We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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