it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
