i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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