he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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