he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
