I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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