i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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