she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
