first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
