I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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