____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize