The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
