i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
