i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
