How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
