what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
