the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
