i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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