I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize