no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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