I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
