If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
