I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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