One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
