Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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