Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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