I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
