How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Randomize
