Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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