Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
