i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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