this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize